A Regular Firefight

The Hunan story obviously touches a very raw nerve with families, and I can completely understand all of the emotion around this story. There are several possible responses that most people have when confronted with contradictory information on firmly held beliefs (whether religious, political, or in this case, concerning the adoption of their child): Accept the information and modify a belief; seek to negate the new information by impuning the character and motives of the messenger; test the new information against previously available knowledge, or conduct personal research.

Most adoptive parents (including myself at one time) cling to the following paradigm: China has a large number of abandoned girls due to a collision between a cultural bias and the one-child policy. These children will remain in a Chinese orphanage until they grow up unless adopted. A child that grows up in an orphanage has no social standing, and therefore will probably not get married, may have to resort to prostitution for employment, and therefore will have a miserable life. Thus, by adopting a Chinese girl, one is providing a much-needed home to a person that otherwise would live an unhappy life. It is truly a win-win situation.

Anytime someone attacks this paradigm with contradictory information, adoptive families are forced to reconcile that new information through the processes described above. Some accept the new information gratefully, others strike out and try to impune the writer's motives; others do research to test the veracity of the new information. In the case of the Washington Post article and this blog, one can see all of the methods employed.

But my motives and "credentials" are relevant to any comments or observations I make, so I have no problem describing them. As any "Google" search will clearly show, I have been conducting research for over a decade, including publishing in Utah history, Mormonism (my prior religious belief-system) and most recently China. I conducted my first research project in 2000, and have visited over 60 orphanages since then. While conducting my trips I tenaciously investigate the thoughts and opinions of the directors, caregivers, foster families, taxi drivers, shop-keepers, and anyone else I think may have experience or knowledge about China that is relevant to my families. So, since little is "offically" available concerning these topics, I must say that my experience with the above people is my primary data source. That, and being involved with an opinionated native Chinese woman for two years, and having walked the adoption road three times in various ways.

When I first offered finding ads to families, no one had seen one. The CCAA prevented their distribution to adoptive families, and even though I had just paid my finding ad fee for Meigon's adoption, I was denied a copy by her orphanage. Through the years I have sought out and obtained the ads (over a quarter million ads if one must know) from almost every Province that is involved with international adoption. After I began offering the ads, the CCAA instructed the orphanages to begin giving the families copies of their child's ad in an attempt to destroy my market. In the intervening four years, families have gone from receiving no ads to demanding high-quality reproductions and the actual papers the ads appear in. We have come a long way.

Finding ads are a business for me and my family. I have had families complain that I should offer these ads for free to families, but it appears no one is willing to pay my airfare to China and my expenses to travel to the various Provinces to locate the ads.

I do visit orphanages, and have always attempted to do my projects as cheaply as possible. Other organizations exist that do finding location photographing, but most families have found them to be expensive. I charge the costs of travel to photograph and videotape a finding location, visit with orphanage personel, interview foster families and finders, and basically get as much information as possible about the child I am researching. NO ONE does that service, and NO ONE charges so little. I do offer the orphanage DVD to any family interested for $25, not much considering the cost of small-volume reproduction and shipping.

But my business isn't the core issue here, it is the "adoption paradigm" outlined above. The problem is that the truth lies somewhere in the middle of all this -- yes, adoptive families are providing homes for children that probably wouldn't be adopted if they remained in China. Conversely, not every child adopted internationally would have remained in an orphanage. Many would be adopted domestically. The international adoption program has altered the dynamics of domestic adoption in China. Children adopted internationally would have gone to domestic homes is they had not been adopted by a Western couple. All of them? No. Most of them? Probably not. So, one can't advocate stopping the international adoption program because there is no doubt that would result in many children remaining in the orphanages. But as adoptive families we must realize that our program is impacting adoption by Chinese families. The solution to this problem I believe I have already proposed.

I am an adoptive father of three children that wants simply to know the truth concerning their history, their heritage and their birth families. It is a mission for me. I am programmed to ask "why" in everything. It is a wonderful journey, and I try to present my findings to others. I publish my blog so that others are freely able to comment, criticize or add-to my findings. It is the ultimate democratic tool. Am I a professional? No, I don't think so. Just a person who has "been on the ground" more than probably anyone else. I offer my layman's observations. Of, and just to settle this once and for all, I do not claim to speak for all adoptive families. I'm not even sure I speak for most of them. I speak for myself, but do try to make that voice heard.