tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post115480136348428076..comments2024-03-10T15:13:47.148-07:00Comments on Research-China.Org: The Long Road to My BabyResearch-China.Orghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09137919637778021754noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-9831903623927754512006-11-19T23:41:00.000-08:002006-11-19T23:41:00.000-08:00I think it is so sad the way people think in China...I think it is so sad the way people think in China. For this poor woman to say that she was grateful to her family to FORGIVE her for the disease she had is just SAD!!! Then she went on and on about how they stood by her when she was in the hospital and so on. These people are suppose to be family...isn't that what family is suppose to do? China is certainly a different world and I am so glad we are in the USA where we aren't treated with such cruelty.Melodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13445667877031038371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-73150500174285917632006-08-20T07:34:00.000-07:002006-08-20T07:34:00.000-07:00I just returned with from China with our 34 month ...I just returned with from China with our 34 month old son who we adopted from an orphanage which had never placed a child for international adoption before. I was privileged to be allowed to visit his orphanage which was located in a very rural part of Guangdong Province. There were only 5 children remaining in the orphanage because all of the children who were abandoned and found were adopted domestically within 1-2 months of being brought to the orphanage. The children who were living there when I visited were 6-8 year old boys who were visibly mentally disabled and one infant girl who had leukemia. The orphanage director told me that several local families had wanted to adopt our son, but they couldn't because his paperwork had already gone to the CCAA - he has a repaired cleft lip, palate and hernia. I was so heartbroken to learn this - our son could have grown up and lived in his motherland, but instead he is now living half a world away with a Caucasian family. When we first adopted from China 6 years ago, domestic adoptions were not even talked about. I am so heartened that at least some orphanages actively place children domestically. I wonder how many other small orphanages throughout China are also placing children locally. I hope that the answer is many, many.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-10781713507440826492006-08-18T07:22:00.000-07:002006-08-18T07:22:00.000-07:00Wonderful post. Many of us waiting to adopt from ...Wonderful post. Many of us waiting to adopt from China have very little insight into the other side of the coin as it were. I'm so glad that this woman was able to finally adopt herself. I'm curious to know if the Chinese authorities restrict domestic adoption in order that more healthy babies are available for international adopters? That does'nt seem right to me.Liamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01770447936370581436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155703472908413502006-08-15T21:44:00.000-07:002006-08-15T21:44:00.000-07:00I had no idea that the inability to have children ...I had no idea that the inability to have children would have such a profound effect on marriages in China. That the woman would have accepted her husband's decision to divorce speaks volumes.<BR/><BR/>Thank you Brian.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155702874203032022006-08-15T21:34:00.000-07:002006-08-15T21:34:00.000-07:00Actually, nearly half the families that doemstical...Actually, nearly half the families that doemstically adopt have an older (usually grown) child when they adopt. <BR/><BR/>BrianResearch-China.Orghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09137919637778021754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155693102657412072006-08-15T18:51:00.000-07:002006-08-15T18:51:00.000-07:00I also should add that our guide in China adopted ...I also should add that our guide in China adopted a little girl (as a single mom!) at 6 months of age about 7 years ago. She told us the process was easy because there is no privacy in China and therefore a homestudy was minimal. I sent her pictures of the girls in our travel group and she was very happy to see them. In her words, "these girls deserve good families".<BR/><BR/>We also had an exchange student from China staying with us just after we got our referral of our daughter. She was completely unaware of China's adoption program and was silent when I showed her the referral pictures from my Yahoo group. I asked her if a couple was allowed to adopt a baby out of the SWI's if they already had a child and she gave an emphatic, "NO!"<BR/><BR/>Domestic adoption does happen in China. I just wish it happened more often.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155602718768617312006-08-14T17:45:00.000-07:002006-08-14T17:45:00.000-07:00Brian thank you for sharing this story. It is ver...Brian thank you for sharing this story. It is very meaningful. The little girl has been blessed with a wonderful mom:)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155600573122042712006-08-14T17:09:00.000-07:002006-08-14T17:09:00.000-07:00This was fascinating and very moving to read, plea...This was fascinating and very moving to read, please pass on my thanks to this woman for allowing you to share her story with us.<BR/><BR/>It seems to confirm what I have read elsewhere that so many of the domestic adoptions in China are not made through official channels and that many of these children are "found" homes rather than being brought to a SWI.<BR/><BR/>I remember seeing a documentary on China where a baby was found at a busy railway station and was "given" by the Station master to a gentleman who wanted a child rather than being brought to the local SWI.<BR/><BR/>However, my adoption agency director (who is Chinese) has told me on several occasions that domestic adoption from SWI also DOES happen, the process is very different with families going to the SWI to "choose" a baby but it does happen and in increasing numbers. I have no reason whatsoever to not believe her. <BR/><BR/>I was also told that the system for domestic adoption is going to become more uniform and more like that for IA once the CCAA has taken over its adminstration. If domestic adoption from SWI is not possible in China then what domestic adoption would the CCAA have to oversee? They certainly couldn't administer the unofficial adoptions that take place.<BR/><BR/>When my husband visited our daughters SWI the assitant director also confirmed that some of the children from that SWI are adopted domestically. <BR/><BR/>I don't know why this woman was told there were no babies available for adoption by the SWIs she contacted maybe they didn't have any babies young enough or healthy enough?<BR/><BR/>I am sure it must have been very upsetting and frustrating for this woman to be told by the SWI that she could not adopt a baby from them. I am very glad she was able to build her family through adoption.<BR/><BR/>I have wondered whether some SWI have become a little "weary" of the exacting demands of some domestic adoptive parents. From what I understand sometimes they can be a little demanding with regard to age and physical beauty of the baby and wanting to know info on biological parents.<BR/><BR/>I hope that domestic adoption continues to become more socially acceptable in China and that the CCAA makes the system easy for people to access.<BR/><BR/>Again, very interesting and illuminating to read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155436865834432442006-08-12T19:41:00.000-07:002006-08-12T19:41:00.000-07:00I can relate to wanting a child so much. I cannot...I can relate to wanting a child so much. I cannot relate to wanting to adopt to please or appease my in-laws or feel grateful for their acceptance of an adopted child. This is very informative in many ways. Now I can see how the thinking allows mothers to abandon their children. The pressure to please must be enormous. It's cleary well ingrained.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155338258038754872006-08-11T16:17:00.000-07:002006-08-11T16:17:00.000-07:00There seems to be two sides to this problem. One ...There seems to be two sides to this problem. One is that the SWIs discourage domestic adoption by claiming that there are no healthy babies. The other side is there seems to be a cultural bias against adoption. That the adoption of a child must be kept a secret, even from extended family, the child must not be a child born out of wedlock, from a completely normal, healthy family, a family that has decent looks, good moral character, etc. is discouraging as well. These cultural issues cannot be blamed on the SWIs. When these biases are eradicated, then perhaps the SWIs will have to open their doors to the hopefully throngs of people who want to adopt a baby from the orphanage.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155337766008225352006-08-11T16:09:00.000-07:002006-08-11T16:09:00.000-07:00It seems to me that this story has two sides. One...It seems to me that this story has two sides. One is that the SWI's turn away potential adoptive parents, but the other side is the cultural stigma against adopting a child that has no family history or has family bad looks or family bad moral character. In addition, the fact that the adoption must be kept a secret even from extended family is cultural. What must be done to encourage domestic adoption is to do away with the cultural stigmas that keep people from considering adopting an orphan. When this is done, the orphanages will have to open up their doors to what would hopefully be the new throngs of people requesting to adopt.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155168671869677702006-08-09T17:11:00.000-07:002006-08-09T17:11:00.000-07:00Thank you so much for sharing this heart touching ...Thank you so much for sharing this heart touching story...no matter which country we live all of us have the same desires.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155160235238215522006-08-09T14:50:00.000-07:002006-08-09T14:50:00.000-07:00I agree with Julie. China must open up to domesti...I agree with Julie. China must open up to domestic adoption. It's a sin to let a child grow up in an orphanage when there are wonderful families waiting for a child to call their own.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155138607810937272006-08-09T08:50:00.000-07:002006-08-09T08:50:00.000-07:00Thank you Brian. I am glad this family had the mea...Thank you Brian. I am glad this family had the means and opportunity to make their dream come true.<BR/><BR/>However it continues to frustrate me that they had zero luck inquiring at the local orphanages to try to adopt a child.<BR/><BR/>This is just wrong, no matter how you slice it.<BR/><BR/>JulieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155124241006151192006-08-09T04:50:00.000-07:002006-08-09T04:50:00.000-07:00Brian, I loved this article. Shows that Chnese wo...Brian, I loved this article. Shows that Chnese women and American women have the same emotions. I can almost feel her pain as I felt mine at the time of my miscarriage. Thanks for this-very enlightening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155119881337688512006-08-09T03:38:00.000-07:002006-08-09T03:38:00.000-07:00Thanks for posting that woman's story, Brian. It ...Thanks for posting that woman's story, Brian. It just goes to show that the hopes and desires of those wanting to start a family are the same everywhere.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-1155118639646529812006-08-09T03:17:00.000-07:002006-08-09T03:17:00.000-07:00Wow .... what a wonderful story that you share aga...Wow .... what a wonderful story that you share again with us Brian!<BR/>EthelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-47658293726200788752006-08-16T18:34:00.000-07:002006-08-16T18:34:00.000-07:00Google is upgrading their blogger program, and in ...Google is upgrading their blogger program, and in the process the comments to this blog have disappeared. I am hopeful they will reappear soon.Research-China.Orghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09137919637778021754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15636692.post-808413383211138712006-08-16T16:59:00.000-07:002006-08-16T16:59:00.000-07:00What happened to all the comments?What happened to all the comments?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com